The Benefits of Developing Self-Control Skills


How would you rate your ability to maintain your composure under pressure? What affect does this have on your relationships? How does this effect your life?


In the past I have experienced the overwhelming nature of emotions. This overwhelm has caused me to react in ways that can cause harm to my relationships. However, I have been able to learn self-control skills to support me in such situations, so that I do not make reactive judgments and decisions I later regret. It is not easy when emotions run high to be able to pause and reflect. However, it is possible.


Often when elevated emotions are involved our minds will not think as clearly as when we are composed. Hence, why we can then make decisions we later regret when we reflect on them in a calmer state. This impairment of our ability to think clearly can cause numerous issues not limited to but including:

  • Creating additional issues

  • Creating more problematic emotions

  • Causing additional stress

  • Affecting our personal and/or professional relationships

  • Obstructing our goal achievement

  • Initiating shame


Once our relationships are affected, this can cause a whole variety of different issues dependant upon the relationship.


It could be that we affect a relationship with our employer, a colleague, or a client. This could lead to loss of earnings, loss of employment, or at the least an uncomfortable working environment.


It could be that we affect a personal relationship with a friend, a partner, or a family member. Again, dependant upon who the relationship is with it will have a variety of effects which at the least would put a strain on that relationship.


In order to minimise these risks, it is important to develop self-control skills. If not just for the others in our lives, but also to minimise the pain we can inflict on ourselves. Once we land in a situation of regret it is uncomfortable to say the least. Then we can take that regret out on ourselves, this can lead to self-blame and shame which are terrible places to end up in. If we end up feeling shame for our actions, we can develop complexes where we believe we are responsible for everything that goes wrong. This can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that our thinking that this is the case translates into future behaviours where it can become the case.


Self-control can be taken too far in the wrong direction, so it is important to find a balance. This way we can be ourselves, but be vigilant of times when we may make decisions we later regret.


The benefits of developing self-control skills are not limited to but can include:

  • More choice over our actions

  • Reduced likelihood of impetuous decisions

  • More control over our behaviours

  • Reduced chance of self-blame and shame

  • Reduced stress

  • Improved relationships

  • Reduced risk of causing additional problems

  • More self-confidence

  • More stability

  • Time to consider other people’s perspectives

  • Time to take into account others’ emotions

  • Improved conflict resolution


If anyone wants support developing self-control skills, please don’t hesitate to book a Free Mindset Meeting or message me directly.


I am currently developing a short programme focused on developing self-control skills. If you are interested in this, please book a Free Mindset Meeting today. Take back control of your emotions, don’t allow them to dictate your life.

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