How would you rate your ability to maintain your composure under pressure? What effect does this have on your relationships? How does this affect your life?
In the past, I have experienced the overwhelming nature of emotions. That overwhelm has caused me to react in ways that can cause harm to my relationships. However, I have been able to learn self-control skills to support me in such situations so that I do not make reactive judgments and decisions I later regret. It is not easy when emotions run high to be able to pause and reflect. However, it is possible.
Often, when elevated emotions are involved, our minds will not think as clearly as when we are composed. Hence, why we can then make decisions we later regret when we reflect on them in a calmer state. This impairment of our ability to think can cause numerous issues not limited to but including:
Creating additional issues
Creating more problematic emotions
Causing additional stress
Affecting our personal and or professional relationships
Obstructing our goal achievement
Initiating shame
Once our relationships are affected, this can cause different issues depending upon the relationship.
It could be that we affect a relationship with our employer, a colleague, or a client. That could lead to loss of earnings, loss of employment, or at the least an uncomfortable working environment.
It could be that we affect a personal relationship with a friend, a partner, or a family member. Again, depending on who the alliance is with, it will have various effects. At the least, it would put a strain on that relationship.
For improved relationships, it is beneficial to develop self-control skills. If not just for the others in our lives but also to minimise the pain we can inflict on ourselves. Once we arrive in a situation of regret, it is uncomfortable to say the least. Then we can take that regret out on ourselves. That can lead to self-blame and shame, which are atrocious places to end up. If we feel shame for our actions, we can develop complexes where we believe we are responsible for everything that goes wrong. That can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that our thinking that this is the case translates into future behaviours where it can become the case.
Self-control can exhibit too far in either direction. So it is vital to find a balance. That way, you can be free to be yourself. However, it also affords you vigilance. That can support you in times when you may make decisions you later regret.
The benefits of developing self-control skills are not limited to but can include
More choice over our actions
Reduced likelihood of impetuous decisions
More control over our behaviours
Reduced chance of self-blame and shame
Reduced stress
Improved relationships
Reduced risk of causing additional problems
More self-confidence
More stability
Time to consider other people’s perspectives
Time to take into account others’ emotions
Improved conflict resolution
If you want support developing self-control skills, please don’t hesitate to book a free Mindset Meeting or message me directly here Home | Chloe Mepham BSc Certified Life Coach.