Have you ever known how you want to respond to someone before they have finished talking? Do you think that your opinion is more accurate than others? Has your response ever been met with resistance?
Often times we will enter an interaction with preconceived notions. Everyone does it. You are not alone. It may be that you think the other person is not listening to you. However, it may be the opposite.
Our thoughts affect how we interact. We are not our thoughts. They are simply that, thoughts. Thoughts are born out of our individual experiences, beliefs, and emotions. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that two people will think the same about a given situation.
If we are entering an interaction with preconceived notions, we will likely be inflicting our thoughts onto the other person’s perspective or point of view. Often, we will automatically think that the other person thinks the same way that we do. We are all different. Embracing these differences can prove invaluable in building stronger relationships and achieving beyond our own potential.
Using Mindful Listening we can detach from our own internal dialogue and embrace the other person’s perspective. Mindful Listening is about immersing yourself entirely in what the other person is communicating.
Now, it might not be what the other person is saying that you need to listen to. It might be what the other person is not saying. Are they avoiding a topic? Are they blaming another person for their own actions? Are they minimising their involvement in a situation? They may or may not be intentionally lying to you. They may even be lying to themselves.
It is also important to notice their tone of voice, pace of speech, and body language. These important indicators can alert you to whether the other person is uncomfortable. This does not necessarily mean that they are lying, but it could be a good indicator. Is their posture open or closed? What does this mean? Are they looking you in the eye? If so, how are they looking you in the eye? What might this mean? Are they fidgeting? Fists clenching? Tapping their feet? Grimacing in the face? What might these indicators mean?
Identifying emotions in others can open a wide variety of options including perspective-taking, conflict resolution, and at the least more informed choices.
If anyone wants any support with issues raised in this article, please don’t hesitate to contact me. You can message me directly here: Home | Chloe Mepham BSc Certified Life Coach, call 07719397270, or e-mail contact@chloemephambsc.com.